This is the moment. This is the moment that it all goes to ish... I don’t know about you but I’ve had those moments as a Mom as a Wife where I feel like the next moments the next words out of my mouth can turn the tide in either direction. Shit storm or calm seas 🌊
With my husband where if done badly it will start a rift that who knows where the space will end.
With my kids if it goes awry who knows when I will be let back in again.
I’ve noticed I’ve kept a practice of always doing 5 things when these moments come.
And let’s be clear they will keep coming.
Match points...decision moments!
But before it’s dire it’s just simple life.
The Simple Everyday
So if you get used to these 5 things now... you’ll give a backhand to those match point moments.
I know you’re thinking kids and spouses two different things... yeah but nah.
Different relationships for sure but they thrive and fail in the same waters.
Communication...compromise and unconditional love.
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My 5 truths I try to live by. To keep my relationships thriving.
I Make sure that the hubby and kiddos know that they are seen heard and that they matter.
How do we do that?
(STOP ~LOOK~LISTEN~KNOW)
1 - STOP
.🗣 🛑 stop put down your phone stop typing Hear it the first time, before the whining and annoyance sets in.
We’re busy I get it. We have work and meetings and deadlines and ambitions. But it’s nothing like realizing the cry for attention is on loop and we missed it. Pay attention the first time “Yes Love how can I help?”
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2.LOOK 👀 in their eyes Making eye contact is AMAZING! It means I’m present and here right now with you.
.3
LISTEN 👂
Slow down to really hear. What’s the real issue. Lack of attention (the whining) Being short with each other. Lack of quality time. #DateNight time #MotherDaughter #MotherSon time let’s get to it.
3~REPEAT... I repeat out loud what I hear them saying so we can both hear it. “You never play with me” “I never play with you”? Is that true or do you just want more?
“Oh Nevermind” from the hubby... wait what? “Nevermind?” hold on ... now I’m all ears. What’s going on I’ll make time for understanding right now. If I can’t stop at that moment we make a “let’s talk time” and we put it on the calendar!
3~ KNOW...for yourself even if you have no solution in the moment that you were made for this. I tell my kids if the answer is beyond me in the moment that we will figure it out. Same for the hubby.
We will try things until we find something that works. More talking, Family Meeting, Counseling we are all in! #LetsGo
Just knowing in your own heart that everything is figureoutable (Melanie Fiore) brings peace that that we will find a way.
Because where there is a will there is a way!