Soooooooo when I wanted to become pregnant I devoured every tiny piece of information I could get my greedy little hands on to make this getting preggers process easy and successful. Hey I wanted a baby and I wanted it like NOW. Everything I found on the subject… said basically that everything I did, ate, listened to, felt, said, believed, thought effected the possibility of becoming pregnant.
Soooooo I ate healthy, I cut down stress, I did acupuncture, I meditated I prayed, I did a cleanse, I watched happy films I stayed around happy supportive people, I worked out, quit my friend Tracy and I got rest.
Sooooooo when I became pregnant (after 1 month, had a miscarriage then got pregnant again the next month) I devoured every tiny piece of information. Everything I could get my greedy little hands on about having a happy healthy pregnancy. Basically it said everything I did, ate, listened to, felt, said, believed, thought effected the baby. This tiny embryo of possibility that was growing inside of me. I wanted this tiny kernel to be the best kernel of yummy ever.
Soooooo I ate healthy, I cut down stress, I did acupuncture, I meditated I prayed, I did a cleanse, I watched happy films I stayed around happy supportive people, I worked out, quit my friend Laura and I got rest.
And then there she was. Happy, Healthy, Perfect. YAAAAYYYY I DID IT!!
Soooooooo when I wanted to raise this Baby Girl up to be the best baby girl ever. Everything I could get my hands on said… Basically it said everything I did, ate, listened to, felt, said, believed, thought effected MY BABY GIRL… OMGOOODNESS!!!!!
Well I made sure she ate healthy for the most part it gets kinda hard as they get older, birthday parties, commercials, homework, friends. I had to lose pregnancy weight twice and I tried a LOT of ways to do that ( diets and exercise and just not eating and lots and lots of exercise). I didn’t have so much time for me and I really liked Sarah Mclachlan and other moody melancholy singers so l listened to that a lot and cried. I felt depressed, fat and my friends Cheryl, Kim and Nancy all felt the same way. We hung out all the time and were pissed off over the state of our world, together. Until Cheryl got uppity and shanked us. I got lost in the” I don’t think I am good enough” sauce, my career will never happen, I can’t have the body I want. Kids are growing up too fast. I wonder if we can elect our first African American President and if we do what if people try to kill him and oh hell what is the the latest war, coup, disaster, eboloa, technology advancement gonna turn all our brains into gooo especially our kids. A.I. taking over the world, meat meat MEAT destroying our eco system, MOM being wicked, weird exclusive Mom cliques at school, online, everyfrickinwhere. Crazy racist cops killing our black sons, Masanto, MASANTO, Koch brothers, Plastic, CRAZY RACIST COPS KILLING OUR BLACK MEN, Sea World, The Zoo, polar ice caps melting….The brand new UTTER DISASTER IN THE WHITE HOUSE… CRAZY RACIST COPS KILLING OUR BLACK SONS AND MEN AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT… MY CAREER MY CAREER MY CAREER, KIDS, HUSBAND, LIFE, WORLD!!!
I got cancer
Sooooooo I eat healthy 90% of my food consumption is for important parts of my body like organs, heart, lungs, kidneys, skin you know stuff like that (olive and every other kinda frickin oil I can dip, dribble or rub, avocados, greens, brown rice, sprouted seed bread kinda stuff “Peak Foods”) and 10% is for my “bully tongue”always trying to get his way but Naw! (you only get 10% brownies, cookies, chips) END of food story period. I move my body (#30andDone) YouTube is Boss. I cut down on stress ( I stopped watching and reading every cycle of the news, counter news and commentary. NO I don’t know every tid bit of what is going on #ForestGump and I totally unplug one day a week). I see a Homeopath, I take herbs (email me) I meditate (Joe Dispenza)and I pray Every Single Day. I listen to all kinds of music mostly things that make me lose myself and DANCE HARD! I watch happy romantic, adventurous T.V and films (No shouting angry back biting, un dead,tyrant, rape pillage heavily surgery-upped fucking depressing t.v and films that show me a world gone to HELL in a hand basket I got enough of that in real life thank you). I listen to pod casts about SOLUTIONS. I write my congress people, I march, I support with my dollars people, things and businesses who share my idea of a whole balanced world #GrabYourWallet. I re-use and recycle. I am KIND to MYSELF. I work on my ultimate career and life story and live there 30 minutes every day. I make love to my husband, I teach my little black kids about the human spirit, good people and bad people, courage, strength manners and personal safety “Yes We Can”, I stay around happy supportive people. I quit Cheryl and my Mother.
and I get rest.